Letting him go

So, the decision was made. We would let the vocalist go, as he wouldn't be able to handle that lifestyle soon - he wasn't really doing good anyway - and he had to focus on his health.

I try to find even a tiny sparkle of any compassion at all during that period, but unfortunately I can't find any. I now ask to myself, why didn't anyone talk about how that was exactly the time we had to support him, instead of giving up on him just because he was sick? Why didn't I tell anything? Did I even look at what was going on in this perspective? No.. Inexplicably, I thought I was just there to do what I was told, and tried to keep low profile. In the end, it was absolutely the band's choice, and I didn't really have a say in this. I trusted them more than myself, and didn't really question their decision.

I received an email from Jenny telling me to put the press release on our website. It read something like "We are very sorry to inform everyone that our dear vocalist is parting ways with us due to his newly diagnosed MS illness. Our upcoming festival show will be our last with him. We thank him and wish him a speedy recovery blah blah.."

Years later, I learnt that this was how the vocalist found out he was no longer with the band.
He was already confused, scared, and basically a mess after finding out that he had an incurable disease that may cause him lose all his physical abilities, including singing. He had just talked to the bass player on the phone about how this would affect the band, and they had to talk and make some decisions. A few days later, he saw this. Can you imagine what a crushing moment that must have been?

On the other hand, we, the cold-hearted metal band entourage, were thinking of who the new vocalist might be. Jenny was dreaming of holding auditions, and turning this into a great event, maybe kind of a series we could broadcast online?! (The band would never accept turning it into a TV show, otherwise that would be Jenny's ultimate best scenario, but YouTube was also good enough)
The news also took the local music media by storm, and everyone was suggesting names as the new vocalist. Music critics were writing about how the former vocalist was in fact one of a kind and almost irreplaceable. In heavy metal bars, singers of cover bands were telling their friends how much they would love to sing in that band, how they had been a fan for years. There were rumors that the band also liked one of those cover band singers a lot and they were thinking of him.
That was not true, the band had already found someone.

There was this great band in the scene almost a decade ago. They released 2 albums and all their songs were in English. They sounded so good that everyone thought it was an international band at first. They had a very loyal, very enthusiastic fanbase, and I was one of them. I went to almost all their concerts. I used to enjoy watching the singer singing Would? in the encore at the end of their shows,  the lights would be dimmed, and he would be lost in the song, smoking, his eyes closed... He also had a trip-hop side project, and whatever he sang, he turned it into something wonderful and magical.
That successful band had tried hard, recorded their second album in LA and shot a video there, they did everything they could, but they just couldn't make it, and the band split up. They became one of these cult bands, at the top of all "The most underrated bands..." lists.

In another meeting at the guitarist's video production company's office, the band told us who the new singer would be. Jenny's first reaction was "Who the hell is that?!" Mine was a silent, huge smile first, and then an excited "Oh my god, that's wonderful!!" But what mattered would be the fans' reaction.
Then we decided that upcoming huge festival show would be the former vocalist's last show, and the new one's first. The festival stage they would play was dedicated to Ronnie James Dio who was supposed to be the headliner of the festival, but we had lost him a few weeks earlier. And the band decided to cover some of his songs as a tribute in the second part of their set, and the new vocalist would sing.

The festival day was very emotional. The band had prepared a great video to be shown on huge led screens on stage with the visuals of former vocalist. He was on stage on his final show, singing flawlessly as always, but his illness had progressed already and he was having a hard time standing up. It was a sad performance, and a perfect way to say him good-bye, with 50 thousand people singing along with him, cheering "we-love-you!"  When the first half of the set was over, he announced the new vocalist, and came backstage trying to hold his tears.

The new vocalist gave rolls and rolls of huge papers to the roadie just before he was about to go on stage. He had written the lyrics of Heaven and Hell and Holy Diver. But even they didn't help, he went on stage, 50 thousand people cheered for him for the first time in his life, and he lost it. He could not sing, tried to hold the mic towards the crowd and all, he even pretended the mic was not working, but he just couldn't sing! The former vocalist was sitting next to me, we just looked at each other in despair.

The first reaction of the fans to the new vocalist was "Who the fuck is he?!" And that didn't change for years. Things were never the same for the band.

The former vocalist did just fine. He tried alternative medicine, meditation, and going to healers for this MS, and it worked. It has been more than 5 years now since his diagnose, and he didn't lose any of his abilities. He released his solo album, and played acoustic sets in small venues, packed with the band's former fans.
The band, on the other hand, had to say goodbye to big stages and huge festivals along with his former singer. They had to use a prompter in all of their concerts because this new singer had a good voice, but not a good memory. They lost most of their fans, and all the remaining ones asked was when the former vocalist would return.

Next: The Checklist

Back to the story

My last two posts were kind of a sneak-peak to what happens next, but I need to continue telling the story, picking up where I had left.

So, after the Alka Seltzer incident, which was in early 2010, we were busy working with the metal band for a while.

It had been 2 years since they released their live DVD, which became the second best selling concert DVD of all time in the country's music history (the first one was Queen's), and the logical next step would be releasing a new album after this successful come back, celebrating the band's 20th anniversary.
But things were not going great within the band. They were far from creating new stuff, let alone releasing a new record.
This wonderful, amazingly talented vocalist of the band, whose voice was always compared to that of Bruce Dickinson, who had a very friendly, warm, and beautiful soul had lately become the laziest person on earth. He did not show up to rehearsals, frequently fell off while walking, or needed to sit down behind amplifiers between songs on stage, drinking a lot, and he was just not really "there", both physically and mentally.

In this mindset, we were having a terrible summer season concert-wise. Like the problems within the band weren't enough, we frequently had to face with non-paying promoters that summer, which made everything worse.
Due to the recent success of open air festivals, all the promoters decided it would be a good idea to arrange 2-3 day long festivals with camping, big stages, 20 emerging bands with 2 headliners, hoping that it would be like winning the lottery for them. Some did pretty well and gathered around 15k people, but most were either cancelled or had to face a big loss, causing the promoter's bankruptcy. The local scene is full of such failure stories, in which the promoter sells his parent's house to pay his debts, and takes a 9 to 5 job at the end, or runs away and no one hears from him ever again.

Jenny booked the metal band for one of such festivals. She was somehow convinced that this one would be different. She had also started working with one of the up-and-coming young bands, and they were enjoying that next milestone in their career (-Work with a famous and professional manager when your 2nd album is as successful as the 1st one, - Check!), unaware of what a mess they had got into.
So I arranged everything related to these two bands for the festival, checked in them to their hotels, and went to the festival site with Jenny. It was a mess!
There were literally only 15-20 tents in the camping site, this huge festival area was 90% empty, and everyone backstage was arguing.
Backline company was complaining about the security not doing their job, stagehands were frustrated as there was no catering, or anyone in charge of the backstage, and food&drink stands were in a complete chaos as well. Jenny calmly looked at the situation, talked to everyone from the sound and lighting company, security, production team etc. to understand what the problem was, and announced she was holding a meeting in 30 minutes at the hotel. Someone from each of these teams, other artist managers, and the promoter attended.
It felt nice for everyone to get out of that crazy-tense backstage, gather around a table, have a coffee and calmly talk about what the problem was, and how they could solve it.
In fact, Jenny set all the mood, and didn't really give chance to anyone to speak. She already knew almost everyone in the room, and she started giving a great speech explaining how this festival in fact had to be cancelled long ago, but now it was too late and although not many, there were already fans who paid to listen to their favorite artist or band. She explained how everyone had to be more emphatetic to one another, how we all had the same goal of creating a good show, and a good festival. She also talked on the promoter's behalf, who was a mess, not because everything about the festival was falling apart, but because he had lost his dog a few hours ago because he had forgot him inside the car while trying to manage this crisis. But he was still there, telling everyone to please continue doing their job, that he would pay all he could, and promised to pay the remaining amount later. He was not crying after everything he was going through, he was numb.
It was Jenny who cried. She closed the meeting by crying about how her father had cancer, that anything could happen to any of us, and that we had to support each other. Everyone left the room telling Jenny and the promoter not to get upset, that they would put all their teams back into work, and that they would make this festival happen. After everyone left, Jenny wiped her eyes, burst out a laughter, winking me and asking how she did. I had goosebumps in that meeting, despite everything, I had witnessed her amazing problem-solving talent again, and it was very impressive.
That festival happened, the bands played to approximately 250 people, but no one (including the artists) got paid that day, or any other day for all that hard work.
The metal band had one of their worst concerts that day. The vocalist was obviously in pain, but it didn't stop him from drinking a bottle of gin on stage.

When his backaches became unbearable after we returned home, we went to hospital together for MRI, thinking that he had hernia, joking that they were now officially old. Things turned out to be much different than that.
It turns out, all those things were happening because he had MS (Multiple Sclerosis).
This disease has multiple forms and stages, but it basically gradually damages the nervous system's communication to the whole body, and causes those with MS to lose their ability to move or use their body parts. Thankfully, the vocalist's case was in early stages and controllable, but it still restricted him in many ways. Standing up on stage was one of the things he wouldn't be able to do soon.

As he didn't join the band meetings lately, in one of the meetings in Jenny's house, the band started talking about what to do seriously for the first time. They were at their prime, they didn't want to stop. The right thing to do was obvious. He had to go. We have this conversation on tape, but of course, I have never seen it. I don't need to, I have that evening as clearly as it was yesterday in my mind. While everyone was telling how they felt it was impossible to continue with him, and they had to find a new vocalist, the bass player turned to me and asked me what I thought they should do. I was shocked, I wasn't really expecting that question and now, everyone was looking at me. I was busy with observing and enjoying the moment, and I didn't think my opinion mattered. They said it did.
I said it was a no brainer. That everything was so clear, and that he had to go.
I regret it to this day.

Next: Letting him go